i miss my sister and brother soo much it sucks.i feel like i dont have that family i once had. i cant hold it in no more i cant pretend no more i gotta get outta here now and fast i need to be where i belong and were my family & friends are.the only thing that wont be there will be vinny.=( so either way im not happy. iv bin soo fuckin stressed out and depressed lately i hate lookin at myself and seein someone im not.i wanna be the person i once was. i feel like my family is broken and i hate it it needs to be fixed theres like no life no more to this family my father is hardly around my mom doesnt wanna listen cause she knows shes wrong vic is in her own little world i dont even talk to my brother anymore i hardly even talk to him when i see him i miss him alot and it fuckin sucks he brought happiness to my life even tho i was always a bitch he mad me smile inside and it sucks never seein him. and my older sister we came so cause and i cant even spend a good relationship with her everytime i leave my family i just wanna break down in tears cause its not the same. i miss my friends a hole fuckin lot sometimes i think they dont even kno who i am anymore. there always busy with there jobs friends and bfs and gfs and i wish i could spend all the time in the world with them. iv bin goin out alot lately but its just not the same its not lindenhurst which i try to pretend it is. vinny does make me happy here but i just wish it was back home where my life was hole i fell in love with him and its gonna suck when i move back home i have to cause its whats best for me and its what i want most. iv tried for months to not fight with mom and vic but i cant hold it in no more my anger is completly out again i hate how my older sister is upset all the time cause she never sees us and i dont even know about my brother cause i dont even remember the last time me and him had a convo.things just arnt gonna be perfect but then again nothin in life never is so whats the stupid word of happiness surpose to mean if u cant have it all ???