im not happy anymore .i dont kno what it is like i wanted a relationship and i got a good on but things are still missin and i cant stand it. people say its not a big deal that im left all my friends and family but really it hurts me soo bad and its tears me up inside it all i think about i just wanna be home. my life would be soo much different if i was home but then i woulda neva met vinny.but i wanna be home cause thats were i belong and thats when im happy the most. im good at hidin it tho from people cause im sick of the questions wuts wrong and why are u like this. and its cause im miles away from my family and friends things arnt the same. i just need to pass school so i can go home in a few months but it doesnt seem to work for me. i also need a job that neva happened yet here for me i had an interview and i guess i wasnt good enough cause the bitch just laughed at my accent i honestly need a job really bad it would get my mind off things seriously. i miss nicole and joey and my niece lots i feel like i neva spend time with them wheneva im on longisland. im just full of wonders and i cant stand it. i try to say things in my head like okay i love this place i love this place im leavin soon but it really dont work for me. im student who doesnt have a clue in the world wuts goin on anymore my mind is blank and i hate it . i try my best not to be a bitch to my mom or vic so i try to make them laugh. i try to make lots of people laugh cause it makes me happy but i cant smile for real. when im with vinny i smile and im happy but when im not with him it feels like i dont even have him he really made me betta but its sucks cause we hardly hang out and im not used to that at all.i wish my friends could just come here once in awhile cause its really hard for me to take turns cause i love all my friends equal and when im there for just on day it hard to see everyone....... i hate thinkin about bad things i always doo and i always think negative and it sucks big time.. life just sucks period.