the past almost three weeks was fuckin awsome begin home in lindy i had so much fun and never took a smile off my face i had a ball ..i just didnt wanna leave i hate this fuckin mountain place soo badly i just wanna stay where i belong.i really just cant stand my parents i really cant i hate feeling like this.when im in lindy and when im here its like im two different people and it fuckin sucks.i hate my bad mood swings..when im here i feel like i deserve to be in some crazy home cause im absoultly crazy here.i even have the urge to cut myself again and i know one of these days im gonna get soo fed up im gonna do. im gonna lose it i already lost half of it im just gonna lose it all. like who wants there kids to be unhappy.? i know my kids will never be unhappy. im sick of hidin from everyone that everything is okay and im just hidin a lie inside of me. i just wanna scream soo badly i wanna fuckin escape outta this life of mine. like i sed im not scared to end life but a lot of me is better then that to do that and i know im only here for a little bit longer and im finally and i dont wanna hurt the people who actually care about me............anyways my birthday is on friday and its gonna be the worst birthday of my life gonna sit in my room cry wishin i was home doin nothin like a fuckin loser............i need to stop blamin the fuckin world for my shit even tho its a lot of peoples faults im like this.